Reframing Pressure & Nerves for Athletes, Parents, and Coaches

Picture this: You're about to step into the biggest game of your life. Your heart's pounding, your palms are sweaty, and your stomach is in knots. You're nervous.

Your coach walks up to you and asks, "How do you feel?"

You're supposed to say, "I feel great coach! I'm ready to crush this!"

But the truth is, you're terrified. So you lie.

You tell your coach that you're feeling confident, even though you're not.

And then you go out and play a terrible game.

Can you relate?

We're conditioned to believe that feeling pressure and nerves is a sign of weakness. But the truth is, pressure and nerves are a normal part of the athletic experience, and life in general.

So, how can we reframe pressure and nerves to work for us?

Start by acknowledging that it's okay to feel nervous.

Pressure and nerves are often seen as negative emotions. But in reality, they're simply signs that you care about what you're doing. It's common to feel nervous before a game. In fact, the best athletes in the world experience nerves. What matters is how you deal with those nerves.

Focus on your actions.

Instead of worrying about how you're feeling, focus on what you need to do to perform at your best. What are your goals for the game? What specific actions do you need to take to achieve those goals?

So, as a coach, as a parent, or as a player, we should be less concerned about how we're actually feeling, compared to what we're thinking about and what we're focused on?

Coaches can make a significant difference in their players' performance by shifting their focus from feelings to actions and behaviors.

Travis Thomas, our friend and the US Men’s National Soccer Team Leadership and Team Dynamics Coach, recommends that coaches (and even parents can use this) approach their players before games with the following questions:

• "What are you thinking about today?"
• "What are you focused on today?"

Players, instead of asking yourself "How do I feel?" before a game or competition, ask yourself "What am I thinking about? What am I focused on?" 

This shift in focus encourages players to think about their game plan and what actions they need to take to succeed, rather than dwelling on their emotions.

Remember that your performance is not defined by your feelings.

Just because you're feeling nervous doesn't mean you're going to play poorly. And just because you're feeling confident doesn't mean you're going to play well. What matters is how you execute your skills and how you compete.

Let's change how we talk about pressure, nerves, and confidence. It's not about your feelings; it's about your focus and actions.

WHAT ACTIONS ARE YOU FOCUSED ON DOING TODAY?

Wells Thompson
Soccer Resilience®